Ask and you shall receive, I suppose. I wanted a rainy afternoon and I got one. As I was exiting the subway station this afternoon I got caught in the most insane little rainstorm. I suppose I knew it was coming at some point today. But as I climbed the steps past one bedraggled umbrella holder after another, I quickly realized that I was about to get drenched. Fortunately, it is only a few blocks between the subway and my home. Alas, in those three little blocks I got soaked from head to toe. It’s kind of magical (more so when you’re headed to the comfort of your own home) to get caught in the rain. There’s a feeling of surrender and excitement. Anyone who knows me knows that I like to be weather ready. I check the forecast every morning religiously and I always carry my umbrella. Today was a rare and delightful experience for me. Once inside my apartment, I jumped in a hot shower, put my pajamas on and lay in bed listening to the thunder.
This week has been a funny one so far. I feel like I’m learning a lot about patience. What’s nice is that good things are coming. What can be difficult is that they don’t come exactly when I want. This week has also been my own public transportation nightmare. Mercury is in double retrograde and as Mercury is the planet in charge of all things travel and communication it is really screwing things up. So far, I have had one lame MTA experience after another. It has been getting me really, really flustered. I hate being late and when it is hot outside it makes the whole experience all the more difficult. On my way to Williamstown last weekend I missed my bus because of subway stuff. I was stomping across 14th St. trying to catch a cab and asking the Universe for help whilst berating it for messing with my plans (all the while intermittently crying). It was not a pretty sight. But this week, my beautiful friend Christina invited me to a lecture. I had no idea what it was about or who it was by. I went in completely clueless (isn’t that how so many wonderful things happen?). As it turns out, the talk was by Gabrielle Bernstein. She’s a pretty awesome lady who is all about empowering and supporting women (and men) in their spiritual lives (and as a result, their day to day lives). The lecture we attended was all about how to publicize yourself and create success in a positive fashion. She really tries to approach the business world from a place of peace (how many of us can say that?). She talks about the importance of energy and intention and of course, patience. I’m in the process of leaving one job and focusing on writing as my main source of income so it was nice to find a new attitude towards this career change. So far, it’s been worry, worry, (what am I thinking?) email, email (I can’t do this) stress, doubt, stress. Last night, I learned that all of those thoughts were fear (your fear speaks first and loudest) and that as soon as I release my fear anything is possible. In this mad, mad city sometimes I forget how important it is to listen to a peaceful voice and to walk home in the rain.
P.S. Gabrielle also gave me a little perspective on this whole travel stress thing that I’ve been doing for the last couple of weeks. Everything will happen in its own time. Getting stuck on a subway is an excellent opportunity to meditate. (This is still very much a work in progress).